I’m not going to lie…I had a mini meltdown

Covid 19 is here.  It’s hit New Zealand shores and is spreading.  Jacinda closed the borders and put the country into self isolation.  I don’t disagree with her actions.  I think it’s necessary. 

As a bookkeeper I’m one of the lucky ones that can continue to work from home and keep it as business as usual.  Plenty to keep me busy, monthly and quarterly reporting prep and of course it’s GST time.  Life still goes on and we still have to pay our taxes.  My family and I will be fine…until people can’t pay their invoices.  

​So why the mini meltdown?  As far as emotional resiliency goes I believe I have a fair amount of it.  I’ve had to deal with a fair bit over the last 18 months in my personal life and yet life goes on.  We deal with it, we move forward.

​Personal development over the last 5-6 years has been key.  Rewiring my brain to see things differently, to ask better questions, to create new habits, to look for the positive, to stop applying stories that aren’t true.

To create a life intentional rather than passively letting life happen like I used to, and playing the victim.But it happened.  Nothing major, just a feeling of overwhelm, frustration at the world, at people.  Wound tightly.  My news feed was full of it.  We all know that negativity sells so that’s what the media puts out and that’s what people share.  

It was my birthday, the big Four Oh, and we were about to go into lock down as a nation.
So I did it.  I withdrew into myself and I took social media off my phone.  At a time when I thought I should be putting myself out there, putting on a positive face, and showing people all was going to be ok.

And guess what.  I didn’t die.  And I still found out what I needed to know.  And if I didn’t then I probably didn’t need to know it.I was so suprised by my response to this experience. 

I wrote this to someone…just observing what was happening to me…Happy Birthday to me.  

“It’s 2am and I have been awake for the last hour.  I feel myself sinking into sadness.  If this is me as emotionally resilient as I believe I am I can’t even begin to think what it must be like for others.  

I know it will be better when the sun comes up.  But it feels so long right now.  I know I should be out there providing solutions, keeping everyone looking forward, finding the positives.  I don’t even know why I feel like that’s my job. Maybe it’s just as much for me as for anyone else…who knows?

Looking at Facebook it seems like there’s enough people doing it, I’m probably not needed.”

And later that day I wrote:

“I’ve been crying intermittently. Today I lost the battle with my ego.

Today I just can’t give any of myself to anyone else.  Today I feel myself withdrawing inwards.
It’s not depression.  But it is sadness, a grief of sorts I guess.

I’m so drained. 

​I went for a massive walk to clear my head, to make myself tired.  Feeling a bit better now.  

Looking forward to bed and a good sleep.  I can’t believe the roller coaster of emotions I’ve had today. 
One thing is clear though.  I really have to look after me first before I can be there for anyone else.”

​And that’s the key.  We have to put our own oxygen mask on first.

We promote that ALL the freaking time at The Nutrition Hutt.  We must look after ourselves first BEFORE we can look after anyone else.  And that’s what I had to do.  I had to work out how I could best do that for myself before I could do it for others.  

Getting off social media for me was key.  It allowed me to get rid of that distraction, it’s not the only way to communicate with people.   Then I buried myself in work.  And I got so much done because I wasn’t distracted by social media.

I attended an online Business Seminar called Conquer the Crisis and got some really good ideas there.

Saturday afternoon was very trying.  Short tempered, wound tightly, ready to explode.  I worry that social distancing is going to create more social isolation, mental health issues are going to rise and all that comes along with that.

​Then came Saturday night and Sunday, I decided I’d had enough of the pity party, and I went back to what I know works.  Filling my mind with the good stuff.  And, as a side note, my house is super clean now!!

Standing guard, filtering out the crap, focusing on what I could control.  And letting go of what I couldn’t.  And that’s life right?  It’s so much easier when we let go of what we can’t control and focus on what we can.  

We will be ok.I work well with routine, so that’s what I have done.  Keeping everything as normal as possible.  What works best for you?  How do you keep things structured and in control?

We will be ok. 

And we will.  As I write this the last reported statistics on the Ministry of Health website show out of 514 confirmed and probable cases only 28 have been hospitalised (currently only 9 in hospital) and 56 of those have recovered.  And one death (my deepest sympathies to the loved ones of that person).  These are the people we are trying to protect – the elderly and the ones with pre existing conditions.  As well as reducing the impact on health services as we have seen in other countries.  Be innovative to keep things as normal as possible.It’s a time of innovation.  How can we best keep things going, to retain some resemblance of normality.  Could these be services we offer in the future?

I have a regular PT session on a Friday morning.  We decided to keep it going and we did the session via Zoom.  Even though I didn’t feel like it, having that appointment and accountability was great.  I still worked hard.  We still had banter and laughs.  What regular things have you thought you had to cancel, is there another option so that you don’t have to?

We are taking our nutrition workshops online via webinar for the time being.  We can still provide education and support this way.  If you’re in need of some learning around nutrition to get the health results you want and boost your immunity then check out and register your interest here.


Nourish your mind and body.But most importantly, more now than ever, you have to do what’s right for you.  Take time for yourself, relax, do what you can to lower your stress levels, and do the things that fill your cup.  Remember what’s important.  Do everything as normally as possible.  Search for the positives.  Now is a good time to start personal development if you don’t already do so.  There is so much out there but here I share the podcast I listened to this morning.  Tony Robbins is one of my fav’s.  This one is all about standing guard to your mind.  Check it out here.Nourishing your mind and your body is key.  To feel good. To keep your immune system strong.  To stay healthy.

And part of that is keeping up those social connections.

Another observation I’ve made is I’m just eating for the sake of eating.  I don’t need it.  But I’m doing it.  In just 5 days I’ve increased 2% body fat and gone up by 1.9kg.  It’s easy to see how if I keep doing that by the end of this 4 weeks I’ll be another 8 -10kg heavier.  So best nip that in the butt now. 

Keeping on with the 100% mind set, 80% nutrition and 20% exercise is going to be key.  All of these will keep us happier and healthier. 

Health and Fitness Lower Hutt

And if all else fails and you are feeling down – shoulders back, head up and slap a smile on your face.  Go on, do it now, and see what happens for you.

​Thank you for reading my blog. If you got value from it then please feel free to share.  And if you have some tips and strategies that are helping you get through our current experience please share in the comments.  

​Now more than ever is a great time to get on top of your health & wellness – let me know how I might help by filling in this questionnaire. 

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